Bollywood Horror Songs

You know what was wrong with A Nightmare on Elm Street? It didn't have any Michael Jackson impersonators. Thankfully that oversight is corrected with Mahakaal, the headlining entry in Mondo Macabro's Bollywood Horror Collection, Volume 3. The opening sequence of this unabashed imitation of the Wes Craven classic kicks off with a young college student, Seema, stalked through a creepy, chain-filled subterranean room by a disfigured maniac wielding a nasty, razor-fingered glove, only to wake up in her bed and find scratches on her nightgown and arm. The next day we meet our heroine, Anita, who hangs pictures and makes out with her boyfriend, Prakash, when not prancing around with him engaging in random musical numbers. Meanwhile a tough guy named The Boss and his posse have their eye on Anita, who also hangs out at a cafeteria run by Canteen, a flamboyant Michael Jackson wannabe who prances around in front of a big MJ Bad poster, kisses his male clientele on the lips, and brags about getting a part in the new Ramsay Brothers movie (hey, maybe Wes ripped this off for Scream!). Turns out Seema is Anita's best friend and tells her about this Freddy wannabe (who looks the same except he has a mullet instead of a big hat), and soon Anita's having similar nightmares about a spooky little girl in a white dress and Hindi-Freddy chasing her while his face melts off. The next morning The Boss and his boys try to gang rape Anita in broad daylight on campus by, uh, spraying her with a garden hose until Prakash shows up to kickbox the bejeezus out of them. To get over the trauma, Anita and her pals (including Canteen, of course) decide to head out for a picnic ("where we can sing, dance and have a good time!"), where they perform a big musical number about - what else? - picnics. Unfortunately their car breaks down, so the fun-loving kids have to stay overnight at a weird hotel run by a goofy manager with a Hitler mustache who enjoys peeping in on his guests while they paint their toenails. That night, faster than you can say "Tina, come to Freddy," Seema is butchered in her sleep by dozens of claw-gloved hands bursting through the carpet as her boyfriend watches. Soon Anita's having horrible daydreams about a white-eyed Seema following her in a body bag, Canteen has a daydream where he turns into a Paul Naschy lookalike named Shahenshah (with his own theme song), and Anita's parents reveal the horrible truth about Shakaal, "a foul stain on the human race" who killed children to increase his black magic powers. Turns out they killed him after he murdered Anita's older sister (in a very stylish, Very Ramsay flashback), and everyone must race against time before Anita becomes the demon's next victim.

Though the plot itself is more than a bit familiar, the colorful Mahakaal is filled with bizarre touches including a big snake attack in a jail cell, an atmospheric nightmare sequence in a labyrinthine aquarium, a nifty spin on the waterbed scene from the fourth Elm Street film, and a fluffy-haired mystic guru straight out of an Alejandro Jodorowsky film. The 132-minute running time zips by surprisingly quickly thanks to the brisk pacing and whiplash switches in tone, though this being a Bollywood film, the story is more conservative than its model; both of Anita's parents are alive and morally absolved from any wrongdoing, Seema "asks for it" by having sex with her boyfriend and even sabotaging the group's car to isolate them at the hotel, and the family unit is ultimately held as the greatest good above all. Had the Ramsays decided to follow this up with their own version of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge, the results would have been really, really interesting. (This film does include some fleeting nods to the other films in the series, but for 99% of the time, it's really all about the first one.) Hilariously, the score also cribs from Charles Bernstein and Christopher Young's music for the first two Elm Street films, with Depeche Mode's instrumental "PIMPF" even making an unexpected cameo! As for the obligatory songs, they're all very upbeat and generally catchy, with one third-act disco nightclub number ("Hey Baby, Baby") coming completely out of left field. For some reason the title is translated as "The Monster" on the DVD packaging, but the dialogue instead translates it quite clearly as "The Time of Death."

Now on to disc two in this collection, an earlier and more traditional Ramsay offering entitled Tahkhana (or "The Dungeon") is another giddy haunted house with monsters yarn about two Singh sisters, Sapna and Aarti, whose black magician uncle Durjan tried to sacrifice them to a demonic god as children before he was imprisoned for eternity in his dungeon lair. They were separated during the ordeal and possess two pieces of a necklace which leads to a treasure within the cursed estate. Now their wizened evil uncle has managed to finally revive his dark lord, and when word gets out about the hidden fortune which must be secured with the aid of the missing sister, some shady family members come out of the woodwork. Meanwhile Sapna is now an unemployed vixen in a tight leather miniskirt who runs afoul of the scummy Shakhal, coincidentally her cousin, who tries to "ravage" her and in the process comes into possession of her locket. A wild goose chase ensues as he sends everyone else after the wrong treasure while looking for the real loot himself, but in the process the excavation lands everyone face to face with the very angry blood demon now looking to avenge the master whose soul provides its sustenance.

Packed with thunder, lightning, cobwebs, vultures, pounding synth music, and ooga booga beasties, Takhkhana is a solid, representative example of Ramsay horror with an original if somewhat convoluted story and the usual creepy-crawly atmospherics. Though you get plenty of shots of the monster's red eyes and scowling face, most of the real mayhem is packed together in the brisk final half hour which finally lets the demon loose with a host of amusing death scenes, most memorably a pickaxe impalement and a bizarre attack scene in a haystack. Made in the prime of the Ramsays' horror stride during the mid-'80s, this isn't the most inventive entry but it's perhaps the most representative and a pretty solid introduction for those who like a bit more plot and music than usual to temper their ghoulish antics.

Both features are presented on separate discs and look vastly superior to the blurry, unsubtitled tape editions fans have had to hunt down over the years. Color and detail are both very satisfying while the elements look clean and solid throughout. Some ghosting is evident during scenes with heavy motion, indicating this was probably sourced from a PAL master, but it's so gratifying to see these looking good it's a very minor sacrifice. The optional English subtitles are also lots of fun and well-written. Extras here are the usual Mondo Macabro "about" text extras and the Bollywood/Lollywood episode of the Mondo Macabro TV show, featuring coverage of the Ramsays and their successors with footage from plenty of wild-looking titles like Ammoru (which really, really needs a DVD release). As with their other Bollywood horror double bills, this delivers way more bang for your buck than any other collections out there.